Sponge bath it is.
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
Randomize
