Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
The upside of Thirsty Thursdaying with the client last night was that he was so hungover that he didn't want to spend time wrangling over the contract extension this morning.
Boss just said I'm getting a bonus for this. Want to celebrate our anniversary a week early tonight?
This is why I married you.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
Randomize
