I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
Randomize
