There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
I licked your asshole in confidence.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
