Having your wife answer your cell was so lame. Maybe we can talk when you get your phone, your facebook account, and your balls back.
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
he had hair everywhere except his balls
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
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