Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
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