I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Randomize
