So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
