At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
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