let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
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