But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
Randomize
