I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Randomize
