well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
Randomize
