my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
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