It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize
