WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
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