the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
