I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
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