we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
Randomize
