He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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