I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
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