A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
