Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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