My brain says no but my pants say off.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Randomize
