I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
Randomize
