grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
Randomize
