Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
Randomize
