your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
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You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
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But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
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