OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
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