Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
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