That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
Randomize