thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
hi, I love you... and I'm sorry your floor is covered in popcorn, your cabinet is broken, all your alcohol is gone, you're 80 dollars poorer, everything in your bedside table is soaked in beer, austin slept in your bed in those disgusting underwear, I made out with your toilet seat, and for talking to your mom with a four loko in my hand
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Randomize
