I can't disclose who, but one time I called someone, they didn't pick up, and immediately texted back 'will call later, masturbating'
I thought that was really considerate
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
I touched a dick in church today
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
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