He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
Randomize
