Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Randomize
