I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
