She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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