i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
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