Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
