Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
Randomize
