ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
Randomize
