His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
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