Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
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