i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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