Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
