did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
if i get the "i'm engaged" text one more time, i'm going to shoot myself in the face so my cats won't eat it when i die alone.
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Randomize
