First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
A+ Viking dick
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
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