I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
Im part way to drunk.
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
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