let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....