I looked at my own cervix.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
