apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Randomize
