i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
I woke up under a house in Key West
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
Randomize