I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
Randomize
