so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
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I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
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I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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