Too much gin, very little bucket
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
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