So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
