Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
You know the @ sign on twitter? i wish there was one of those in real life so that the smokin' hot guy at the bar would know the slutty unbuttoning of my shirt was directed @ him, not @ his friend who looks like Mickey Rourke post-face melting
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
He passed out mid-signature
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Randomize
