Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
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