32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
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