Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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