Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
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The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
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She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
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