how hairy? two words: wookie tits
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
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