I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
Randomize
